“Yes, the image that I’m using is Balrog from the Lord of the Rings. Yes I do like the Lord of the Rings. Have I read the books, not yet, but I’m still attempting to finish of the Game of Thrones”
When you are thinking, it’s easier to form the whole sentence and write paragraph that flow and can invoke passion, but when it comes to actually writing or even forming it verbally, it sounds ridiculous.
Right now, what I’m going to write may sound ridiculous. You may even think, this girl is goddamn crazy, but hey, I have accepted that and I’ve also come to the conclusion once you know that you are crazy, it means you aren’t crazy. Anyway, I think that’s for some other time.
Anyway! This is obviously a Christian post, but I won’t discriminate. It is better that those that don’t believe see, then those that do believe see.
So in my last post, or pre-previous post, aka Desperdicio part 3, I wrote in my A/N that I would be fasting, to purify myself, as I felt that I was distancing myself and I haven’t had much time to read the Word, pray or done the things a Christian should. I didn’t even have time to post my Christian post. I’m just lucky that I’ve written some of Tamono and learnt the power of the ‘schedule’ button.
Anyway, so I decided to fast. I also decided that I would attempt to wake up early to pray, since I didn’t have that ‘secret room’ and I wanted to have a ‘secret time,’ where I would enter the Holy of Holies and meet my Father.
But before I slept, I had a thought. Not a doubting thought or anything, maybe it could have been seen as doubt. Personally, I think I might have been limiting God. Anyway, I said to myself, ‘I wonder if I’ll ‘see’ anything. Uhn… I’ve never seen anything spiritual make a physical manifestation… Not that I’m saying God can’t do it.’ Who knew that this thought, would lead to my issue at 5:51am.
This just showed me that God is listening in on everything. Whether it be by mouth or thought, He is keeping tabs.
Anyway, I woke up and did my prayer (aka 5 minutes, bit by bit. Slow and steady wins the race), then I couldn’t go to sleep, so I watched Bratz Rock Angels (these girls are too talented for my liking). Eventually I fell asleep.
And eventually I woke up, but not to what I wanted to see. Stay with me! As I turned, I saw two human size pixies, one attempting to stab me, the other I have no idea what it was doing. The way I tried to call Jesus, but they wouldn’t let me, but my thoughts were screaming Jesus. Eventually, they ran out the window.
I lied on my bed, gripping my stomach wondering to myself, ‘if I look at my hand, will I see a stab wound? Is my stomach bleeding? Ooh wow, I’ve seen demons in a different form.’
You know what I learnt from this?
1) God is listening
2) This fast is going to be the best
3) If only 5 minutes revealed what the enemy is trying to do, what will 10, 15 or even 30minutes do
4) We shouldn’t be worrying about what can harm us physically, but what can harm us spiritually.
5) We are worried about what we can see, but we should really be worried about what we can’t see.
Today, I learnt that the enemy could be implanting things in our lives, or taking things from us, that God has given us, but we will never know, because we haven’t taken that step closer to God. Everyday, we are not lucky, but blessed to see a new day and that God continues to pour His abundant grace on us. That His mercy shines on, forever.