What direction should I take? How should I start this writing? Where should I take this blog? I’ve noticed that I never know how to start, but I have an idea how to end.
It is always easy for people to say that God will lead you, that He will direct you with your choice, just listen. Listen to what He is saying. BUT, words are easy to say, actually happening and being lead is a whole different direction.
Maybe I shall go with the first story that I remember. So I passed my interview and I was offered a job at one of these pharmacy branches.
Excited, I had already planned my route to the place, a combination of google maps and phone GPS.
Grabbing the early train, I find myself in Gillingham, ready to begin the ’30 minute’ journey that google has told me. I stride with confidence, heading towards the town, scooping the area, seeing what’s happening in this town. Answer = nothing much in this area (it’s gets exciting after you leave the train station area. Ice skating and such). Once I’ve finished enjoying my sightseeing, I began the harsh journey that I’ve set out for myself, pre-wiping the sweat off my brows. Ooh how I walked with spirit of Naomi Campbell (pre-anti-mobile phone issues), until my battery decided to die and my snapshoot of google maps, began to look like Egyptian hieroglyphics. The fear that gripped my heart and the tears that prepared to roll down my cheeks, began to grow, as the thought that, a) I don’t know how to get there,
b) I’m going to be late on my first day,
c) I can’t call my dad to pick me,
d) I might have to go back home, oooh sheet!
With all these thoughts bumbling in my head and my strange personality of ‘not asking for direction,’ because I don’t like to give the illusion that I’m lost or not from around the area, I continued to walk. Yes, I just kept walking. Turned streets, whenever I felt like it. I kept strolling and strolling. In my head, I kept urging myself and telling myself, that I should ask someone for directions, maybe they’ll tell me, where I need to go, but I just couldn’t pull the courage to do so, and I just kept walking.
I just kept walking until it reached 8:30 (I had to be at work for 9:00), that’s when I decided that I would start asking for directions, and turn back, since I hadn’t reached the street I needed.
That’s when I noticed that I was on the street I needed! I could see that the numbers was reducing and eventually I reached the place I was hired at and I meet the manager at the same time! Ooh the joy, I felt! It was like angels were singing sweet love songs in my ears.
You know why God is my GPS, because I told Him to lead me, that I’m putting my ‘trust’ in You. I’m having ‘faith’ in You. Why is my ‘trust’ and ‘faith,’ in quotes? Because I’m such a liar, no, the devil is a liar. I’m just a saint who can sin, but not on purpose 😉
Anyway, I kept saying ‘God direct my steps, direct my steps,’ whilst removing and putting my phone battery back in. I kept switching my phone off and on, whilst asking God to lead me. It’s so obvious to me, that I wasn’t relying on God to take me their 100%. I was just hoping that He would turn my phone back on , to keep it going for the rest of my journey. On that day, I learnt that God is directing my path, completely, I just need to walk and decide in my heart to fully trust Him in all my activities. I’ve been repeatedly asking God ‘what to do, what to do, what are your plans for me,’ but I need to remember that God has made me with free will and that if I am aligned with God, His Will, will eventually become my will. I need to be brave enough to keep walking and have the faith that God will do it, He will direct my steps and He will be with me through out my whole journey.
I have been blessed. The place (LloydsPharmacy) that I’ve been employed has been a blessing from above. I’ve failed the application process twice, always passing the first stage, never reaching the second. This is my third year studying pharmacy and I finally get it! Of course I had to go to an interview, but even then, God guided me all the way to the pharmacy. The same thing happened to me again. My battery died and I just kept walking, God lead me through a rural village to my destination, and as always, when I decide to turn back, worried that I’ve taken the wrong direction, God confirms that I’m on the right track. That time, I actually meet someone from Lloyds who was walking behind me and we talked all the way to store. I knew from then on, that God was with me, that this interview would go well. The Holy Spirit had lead me there and He won’t leave me half way.
What am I saying? If you truly believe in God, don’t worry about what you plan to do (this will be difficult) or what He wants from you, God will direct you & you will know and it will be right. Too many times, we worry about ‘What is God’s plan for me?’ ‘Have I missed my mark,’ ‘Is it too late for God to us me?’
In reality, we shouldn’t worry about these things, bring all things to prayer – Philippians 4:6. Jesus left the basic blueprint for us to follow, we just need to read it (aka the Word) several times, to remind ourselves. It’s never too late for God to use you! Mary Madagalene, one time creature of the night /harlot/prostitute/whore/hoe (whatever your generation uses), is one of those big names we her in the bible. Saul a mass murderer undergo a transformation, becoming a new creature called Paul, major writer of the New Testament. We’ve seen the worse of worse, change radically. We’ve seen old people (100yrs old – Abraham) and children (Jesus baptises John with the Holy spirit, whilst in the womb) been used by God, to further His good will.
In fact there was something that I saw on Tumblr (aka this is my disclaimer ;), that made me want to snap my fingers and shout Amen:
- Jacob was a cheater;
- Peter had a temper;
- David had an affair;
- Noah got drunk;
- Jonah ran away from God;
- Paul was a murderer;
- Gideon was insecure;
- Miriam was gossiper
- Martha was a nerve wreck;
- Thomas was a doubter;
- Sarah was impatient;
- Elijah was depressed;
- Moses stuttered;
- Zaccheus was short;
- Abraham was old and
- Lazarus was dead.
God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.