Failure. Afraid. Illusion. Lacking.

F.A.I.L

I don’t know if I should tag this under ‘stories’ or my ‘Christian’ growth tag, because failure, failing deals with both side, even though I want to deny it.
I considered for a split second whether I should find a cool and insightful quote on failure, but in the end I decided not to, because it would pull away from the heart of what I wanted to say & in the end I would feel so fake. I know that I would worry about it before and after I post it.

Coming up with the title was random, it was going to be ‘Fail. Afraid to fail,’ but I kept writing past fail… And then I thought I’ll make some acronym that might or might not make sense.

But… I digress 😛 so, where shall I begin? First thing first. I hope the acronym: Failure. Afraid. Illusion. Lacking. makes sense.
Here’s why:

FAILURE: this is the main focus. When we lose. Where we don’t achieve what we set out to do, or what others have planned for us to do.
AFRAID: this may seem random. But failing wouldn’t be so bad, if it wasn’t tied to other things. How can us failing affect our path? How will others see us once we fail?
ILLUSION: this might be tied to afraid. But when we fail or experience failure, our mind can work a mile a minute, creating a scenario, that can destroy the framework of our mind. The fact that we’ve failed one thing, could trigger the belief that we will fail the entirety of our life.
LACKING: this is actually random. But ‘lacking,’ I feel is an important and dangerous emotion (if it can be classified as an emotion). The belief that you are lacking, you are not worthy or below others because you do not achieve on the same level as them.

These aren’t how I define failure or failing, this is just how my mind works when I’m introduced to failing from time-to-time. You may define failing completely different from me, but this how my mind has registered failing in my head.

However?

I might… Have started to redefine ‘to fail,’ well, the way I react to failing. People always say giving up/ quitting is the true failing, which I agree with most of the time. However, being an optimistic person, I hope that I can spot optimise from a centimetre away 😛

Anyway, I’m losing the plot. What I’ve learnt whilst failing:

It isn’t the end-all (sometimes)

Don’t quit, but if you keep failing, you need to reevaluate, God (or the universe (whatever you believe in)) might be trying to tell you sometimes. It might not be where your strength lies, you might have another skill, talent, subject that you are strong in, but has been overshadowed with your obsession, to achieve in a particular area, where you are no good.

There’s a reason that you’ve failed. The human memory is supposed to be amazing, so reflect about it

Or you could be like me, you can be very lazy, when you want and you are becoming more attracted to laziness, because there is no stress and there is no boredom. I would marry my bed, if I wasn’t afraid of bedsores, lack of food/drinks aka nutrition and fresh air.

I have recently failed (which I assume it’s obvious, since it’s the title) & I have gone through the TS Emrys failing procedure aka cry the night and wake up sick, but feeling a whole level better.

It’s like the bible and maybe the song says – ‘pain/sorrow comes in the night, but joy comes in the morning.’

Why would I say that? Well after I rubbed away the cover of illusion, I could see the light in my failing and I couldn’t help but laugh and wonder whether God considered me, slightly crazy, because I do.

This might not apply to you, but I remember the first time I failed as a writer and it hurt. It hurts when someone is basically telling you that your writing skills are inadequate and your imagination is mediocre at best. However, that was me jumping to conclusion. When I finally did re-read my work, it was so easy to spot the grammar and spelling mistakes and spot the areas where I had forgotten key things to include, because I assumed the readers would fill in the gap.

Sometimes, it’s better to fail now then fail later on, because you’ll (or you should) learn from it and carry it with you into the next stages of life, where you’ll learn how to win better and how to see that silver lining in failing.

Kiss Kiss eTMdd9n8c

One response to “Failure. Afraid. Illusion. Lacking.

  1. Pingback: Failure. Afraid. Illusion. Lacking. | Christians Anonymous·

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